Going Both Waves
I used to go to the community center to swim. Their pool had enough chlorine in it to dissolve a body and it left my eyes burning for days. I didn’t wear goggles, I’m not a pussy. I’d swallow around a gallon of water for every hour I swam.
When I went to the community center that day, they were having an event for the kids. It was pirate themed. In the center of the lobby/snack area there was a plastic pirate ship for the kids to climb around on, with a plank to walk off of that led to a ball pit full of blue plastic balls of varying hues. The walls were adorned with blue tissue paper and cut outs of paper fish and octopi. There were a few men and women dressed as pirates, bandannas and eye patches and corsets and jackets and plastic swords. They did impressions and made balloon swords for the kids to bop each other with.
One of the pirates walked up to me as I signed in at the front desk. By his walk I could tell he was queer. He came up to me and bopped me on the shoulder with his plastic sword. “Yargh,” he said. “Show me yer booty.” He winked at me. Or he blinked. I couldn’t tell since he wore an eye-patch over his right eye.
I stared at him, squinting, my lips drew into a line. The receptionist confirmed I was signed in and I sauntered over to the pool. I swam for an hour, letting myself dissolve in the water and forgetting my worries. One thing I do wear in the pool is ear plugs. If I don't, water fills my ears and I get an infection. When wearing the ear plugs, all I hear is the high pitched ringing in my head. The tinnitus. It’s never ending. When I die it’ll be all I hear for eternity.
When I was finished and showered, fresh mint gum in my mouth to get rid of the taste of chlorine, I walked out to the lobby and saw the same queer pirate from before still entertaining the kids. I thought about him for a moment. Then I wrote down my number on my gum wrapper and gave it to him. He smiled, and I saw he was wearing a gap tooth prosthetic I hadn’t noticed that before.
He and I met up later that night. He came to my place. He still wore his pirate outfit, which I thought would make it weird, but it didn’t. He topped. He held my hips with loving care. He asked me every so often if I was enjoying it. I told him to shut up and keep going.
After we were done, lying next to each other, he asked me, “Wanna see something cool?”
I nodded.
He took off his eye-patch to show a fleshy pink nothingness where his right eye should've been.
“Woah.” I said. Maybe he was a real pirate after all.